Fun fact: The working title for this movie was "120ish Minutes of People Getting Their Fingernails Ripped Off and Some Kind of Science Stuff Around the Edges" but it was too long to fit on the marquee.
If you ever saw a vampire movie and said to yourself, "This needs more free form jazz dance numbers." then do I have some exciting news for you.
What happens when Sam Raimi has a baby with Troma that gets put up for adoption and gets raised by highly pressurized bags of blood? Aside from a serious need to reform the adoption system, this movie.
We cameth h're to chopeth wood and talketh liketh t wast shakespeare times, and we're all out of wood