If you ever saw a vampire movie and said to yourself, "This needs more free form jazz dance numbers." then do I have some exciting news for you.
What happens when Sam Raimi has a baby with Troma that gets put up for adoption and gets raised by highly pressurized bags of blood? Aside from a serious need to reform the adoption system, this movie.
We cameth h're to chopeth wood and talketh liketh t wast shakespeare times, and we're all out of wood